While I have been cured of prostate cancer, the surgery left me unable to ejaculate sperm. I am able to have an intense orgasm and have strong erections and passion, but there is no reward for a partner at the end… I am embarrassed by this and don’t know how to best handle opportunities such as I would have at RCJ as I did regularly a few rears ago. It is a great place for men! There should be a place when guys with my issue could get together without the guilt. What do you think?

This is just my opinion, but I don’t think there is any need for men with atypical orgasms to be segregated. I think that the people you should be playing with are the people you are attracted to, the people who make you breath heavy, that make your cock get hard, that make you want to touch them… Don’t limit yourself to “people like me,” because that really narrows your field. I promise you that you will not be condemned or looked down upon in any way because your cum doesn’t shoot out of your dick. That is not what the culture of my jack-off club is, anyway… I’ve been to many others and the culture is remarkably welcoming, positive, friendly and social. It is the most accepting social sex experience I have ever encountered.

I urge you to separate your feelings of embarrassment from your desire for male intimacy and connection. Take responsibility for self acceptance and at least commit to doing what you need to do to get right with the body you have. Even though it is working differently than it did before the surgery, it is still healthy and you clearly have sexual mojo to spare. Do your work. Work with a good, sex-positive therapist (and make sure they are unabashedly sex-positive) or therapy group and work on loving your body, your beautiful penis and your personal physical expression of ecstasy. It’s okay that it’s not like others!

And you should try coming back to RCJ again. Having gotten to know many of the thousands of men who come to the Jacks, I can tell you there are men who regularly attend who never have a single orgasm at all, or an erection. Many focus on the satisfaction of giving pleasure. There are also at least four men I know who don’t visibly ejaculate but still have wild orgasms and leave smiling and satisfied. It’s not about impressing others with your geysers. It is truly about letting yourself feel free to give in to pleasure among witnesses who celebrate and magnify that pleasure.

Get back here.

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