I saw a poll posted on Bateworld tonight when I was cruising for bate fuel after dinner…

Use of the word “addicted”

I know some of us use the phrase “chronic addicted masturbator.” And I know some object to the idea that sex is addictive in any form, and I think most psychologists agree it isn’t addictive. But for some of us, the very idea that it MIGHT be addictive is a turn on. So the word has become a fetish for some. Question: Does the idea or word have a positive or negative effect on you? Or none at all?

Here’s how the results lined up:


And here was my written response:

I seem to be in the minority here but you asked so here’s my response…

You know, I respect everyone’s right to use language for the best effect, particularly when it’s about enhancing and maximizing sexual pleasure for themselves and their play mates. I accept that this is a thing for many of my bator brothers, but for me, it has the opposite effect. I hate it.

In 1989, after 14 years of constant and daily drug and alcohol abuse, I began my recovery from drug addiction. I was deeply depressed and suicidal from an absolute inability to stop doing this thing that was killing me. That is, to me, the core characteristic of any true addiction: It’s life made unmanageable through powerlessness over something that is killing us.

It is exciting to assert that we are powerless over the bate, but I am far more excited by the knowledge that I choose to masturbate, to indulge and cultivate my sexual desire and gift myself with time and focus purely for sexual pleasure and satisfaction. I carry with me every day the living knowledge that I am a sexually vital man, feeling living exuberance radiating from my penis and infusing my moments with fundamental joy.

Masturbation is my purest sexual expression and the sex I share with others is an extension of that, would be much less connected without it. Masturbation enhances and celebrates my life. It is me expressing gratitude for my manhood, the life I have, just as it is, and my capacity to make it better by committing to it.

That’s not addiction. That’s its opposite.

I know you didn’t come to bateworld to read this kind of thing, or to read anyone’s opinion of your jam being wrong somehow. You visit BW to enhance and share and magnify your masturbation. If proclaiming yourself a “chronic addicted masturbator” makes you happy, you get to do that! You do you, my brother.

For me, “addict” will always invoke disease, destruction and death. That doesn’t make my dick twitch with excitement. It makes me change the channel.

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