First, I have to congratulate you for founding the Rain City Jacks. I belonged to a jack off group until it closed for a lack of venue. In my opinion jacking off with a large group of men is fantastic! For me it is a total bonding and connection and it really makes me feel like I’m part of the Male gender. In your latest post you said “I am picking up a desire to be get friendlier, to share more, to ask questions of each other, to bring more of who we are outside the playspace into the playspace.” Do any of the men who attend RCJ socialize outside of the jack-off gatherings? A handful of guys from the group I belonged to would meet occassionally for lunch or coffee. It seemed to make what you are suggesting much easier. Do you encourage the guys to mix socially immediately before a group session begins? Or do you prefer everyone keep it completely and totally anonymous?

Thanks for the suggestions! We do not actively encourage members to connect socially outside of events. For many, anonymity is a major issue but that’s not true for everyone. 

I know that some of the members do connect socially after having met at the club, either after events or on their own time. I don’t see any reason to not help social connections happen. Everyone has the option individually to choose anonymity.

Another thing we tried in the past was sponsoring “afterglow” events where we would designate a local pub as a gathering place to relax and socialize after events. That had limited success, but I don’t think we need it to be hugely attended. It’s perfectly good whether only two guys show up or twenty do.

I think it’s often a surprise for the members just how social an experience a JO club is, since they go into it thinking only of the sex. In my experience, it’s the social element itself that makes JO clubs unique.

I guess I’m thinking of two specific extra-masturbatory kinds of interaction… The first would be informal, convivial activities, like the afterglow or maybe a Summer barbecue or other social gathering. The second would be less informal and light—I’m thinking discussion groups at Gay City or the “pre-meat” coffeeshop gatherings before events. Those would be more to actually converse honestly about the club itself.

Both kinds of activities would add to the experience of the club and, I think, strengthen the group as a community.

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