So, earlier today I was on Bate World and I came across this pic with two men featured on it. One guy was shaved and one guy had a full on natural bush. I personally thought both were hot in their own way. But what turned me off – well, lets say pissed me off – was the caption on the photo that said “real men have pubs” and then there was a red thumbs down on the hairless guy and a green thumbs up on the natural guy. I am sure this has been discussed over and over, but why does this have to be so mean? Why can’t it be about the beauty of the male form, so with hair and other’s without? Full disclosure – I prefer guys that do not shave down, but I sure as hell would not pass up a full on wank with a guy simply because he shaves his pubs off. Am I alone here? As a masturbater isn’t it about the penis and the pleasure it gives us, not the hair or lack there of that surrounds it?

You know, Adam, I have two biases on this subject: My personal taste and my position as leader of a diverse sexual community. I think both positions agree with you.

The short answer is no, it doesn’t have to be so mean, but the individual who posted that pic has some energy about what specifically turns him on and off, and an unfortunately common interest in selling others on agreeing with his own personal taste. He’s not content to just take responsibility for his own opinions, but feels compelled to make the things he likes “right” and the things he doesn’t like “wrong.” Assholes like this show up all over our culture… including among our elected “leaders.” Drives me crazy…

I happen to share his taste for hirsute men and natural pubes. I find male body hair a specific and strong turn-on. Moreover I am actively turned off by shaved genitals. That’s my personal bias.

But I never attempt to instruct other people on what they should find hot. That’s as ludicrous as homophobes telling me I should be attracted to women. Well, I’m just not, but I would never put anyone else down for being heterosexual. There’s nothing wrong with straight and bi men getting off on pussy and tits, any more that there’s anything wrong with me getting off on a man’s hairy legs and crotch. Live and let live!

There’s nothing wrong with a guy who is turned on by naturally or unnaturally hairless bodies either. There’s nothing intrinsically wrong with shaved pubes or unshaved pubes. It’s just a matter of taste.

RCJ has an official non-discrimination policy. We don’t care how a guy looks or the shape or age of his body or dick. Nobody has to submit a photo or win a beauty contest to join, just be legal, interested in what we do and play by our rules. A big reason for this is that if we did filter guys, who would make the “hot or not” decision? Who gets to decide what kind of guy is worthy of being attractive to others? It’s a losing proposition. Also mean-spirited. We would not want to filter out anyone that someone is going going to find attractive. It’s always better to let people make their own choices on the spot and not tell them what should be attractive to them.

My only disagreement with you is that masturbation is “all about the penis.” In my humble and considered opinion, masturbation is all about being alive and giving in to a desire to experience sexual pleasure. My masturbation is definitely very penile, but it involves my whole body and my mind, the reality of the moment and the infinite realm of fantasy as well. With others, it’s like any other kind of sex in that its quality is dependent upon willingness, openness, focus and attention to the moment. When I jack off with you, I am totally loving my own dick and your dick as well, but also your facial expressions, the curve of your hips, the sensation of your leg against mine, the smell of your body and the responsiveness of your breath. It’s all about the penis… PLUS everything else going on at that moment of sharing it.

My advise is to ignore assholes on the Internet. There’s an endless supply of them, you know. Stick with the guys you connect with and brush off the jerks.

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