(This is an only slightly edited question I received from a prospective Jacks member, along with my only slightly edited response)
The underwear event is definitely up my boyfriend’s alley and could be the event that lets me convince him to try this out 🙂
However, as I’m sure has come up for many others, he’s afraid that there will only be “creepy” guys there. I took a look around the website for something to help allay his concerns, but came up empty…
There are guys of all kinds at RCJ events, and probably a couple that you or your boyfriend would consider “creepy.” Since there are over 50 attendees at every event, there will almost certainly be some guys who you each find very appealing, and some you will feel indifferent to. That’s how any diverse, interactive community group works.
Since we don’t filter our members for anything other than legal age, gender and willingness to abide by club rules, that means all kinds of men are welcome, including some who are not young, not buff, not hung, not white and not gay.We decided early on that we could not decide for anyone else what makes another person appealing. Older guys generally want to see other older guys there. Younger guys generally want to see other younger guys there, but that’s not necessarily who they want to play with.
It is a very different kind of sexual play environment, and difficult to describe, but it is very much a community. If someone is there who does not appeal to me, I don’t play with them. If they ask to grab my dick, I will often turn them down and that is that (although I personally tend to be generous, even with guys I don’t find actively appealing). The rule is, every guy has to ask before playing with any other guy. We assert that every dick is attached to the owner, and the owner gets to be in charge of that dick. Nobody gets to engage him without his consent.
What most of our members find is, the diversity itself is a turn-on. The commonality of our desire is affirming and positive, even if we never actually play with 98% of the guys in the room.
Additionally, JO Clubs are just not for everyone and it frequently takes some time to adjust to the reality of an actual event, even if a guy really likes it. This may not be a fun experience for you or your boyfriend. It is pretty much targeted to men who specifically desire and fantasize about jacking off with other guys and around other guys. Lots of men consider this to not be real sex at all, and unsatisfying. Others are looking for something else altogether.
I’m a guy who really likes it a whole lot, and after years of organizing this club, have drawn hundreds of other men who also like it a whole lot. That’s the whole reason for the group, and if someone drops it because it’s not right for them, it’s perfectly okay. We didn’t fail… It’s actually really good that they go, because we prefer that the men who are here are genuinely into group and buddy JO, not just curious, but ultimately really into it. We want the guys who are NOT into it to not waste their own time.
And part of the experience, because it is a group experience, is feeling okay and even really good about the presence of men who are different from us, and “not my type.”
Group JO is not a mainstream sexual expression. It’s a kink, even if solitary JO is the most common sex act in the human species. We don’t expect everyone to fit comfortably into our community. We always welcome people to try it out, but you should know that even if it really appeals to you, your boyfriend may never feel that way about it.
I hope this was helpful feedback, and I do hope your boyfriend gives it a try.