Porn is not real




Remember, guys – porn is not real.

I know, this seems hypocritical, especially coming from me. But we all need to be realistic, so there’s less disappointment.

To start with, porn stars are chosen for their physical attributes – not everyone is an Adonis under their clothes, and all of us are equipped with different sets of tools. I have a slightly larger than average set, but I’m nothing compared to some of the guys here.

Porn is also all planned out. It helps to be upfront so you don’t get stuck in a two-bottom or two-top situation, although there are ways to make that work. It is just no fun when your superstud pickup turns out to be a power bottom, especially if you’re not flex, or if you’re not in the mood to top.

Anyone expecting an hours-long, multi-position, multiple orgasm fuck may be in for a surprise. That stuff needs work.

In real life, sex usually comprises a little kissing, a little foreplay, some lubing and gloving then there’s the pumping and thrusting and it’s all over – maybe thirty minutes if you’re lucky, but often a lot less, and you’re stuck trying to get home in the middle of the night, or trying to hint to the other guy that he’s not welcome to sleep over. You might get multiple positions, but having to be the director of the action can be tiring, and what if the other guy has different plans?

Porn stars also have the luxury of many takes and are able to stop the camera in between. Keeping an erection isn’t always easy. I have difficulty staying hard when I get fucked, because I’m not that much of a bottom, which is one of the reasons I prefer to top.

Sometimes you don’t even get to the pumping and the thrusting, like when the other fella isn’t into anal sex. Then, ironically, things might take longer – mutual oral isn’t always quick, and some people can turn body/muscle worship into a long slow buildup. Personally, I find that rimming can also be something that lasts a while – getting rimmed, and delivering too.

Maybe that’s why kink is popular – because at least one person is thinking about different ways to stimulate the other, and it’s not only about a quick pump and dump.

And then there’s the sounds.

You can tell when someone is naturally a screamer, and when he is making those noises and faces because he thinks that it’s the porn thing to do. For the record, I’m a grunter, whether I’m on top or not. Plus there are occasions (like when you’re in a dark alley and you’ve got your hands down his pants, or up under his shirt) when the less noise the better: staying silent and breathing heavily is enough.

Don’t even get me started on hygiene and all – sometimes anal is messy, smelly business, and it’s no one’s fault. Heck, body odour is so personal and individual that for some guys I try to hold my breath and for others I would drink their sweat.

There are things you can do to make sex last longer – pausing to change activities, resting before going again, refraining from jacking off before you go pick up, switching back to oral after fucking a bit and so on.

I’m saying you need to be careful, stay safe, and be realistic. No need to freak out or hurt someone’s feelings if things don’t go as you expect – especially if you have a porn movie in mind.

I wanna be a porn star.